Interview for a cook/cashier position at my kids’ school district. Broke every interview rule possible, more than usual. Just a chill conversation with a very easy to talk to woman. She was also a former foster parent. I had two t-t-t-t-tearful moments. She explained the position I’d apparently applied for, and then also the need for subs. With subbing, you could choose your hours and days you work, basically I tell her when I can work and that’s it.
It was very much like a TV show or book where someone just stumbles into some “you want the job, it’s yours” situation.
I told her I was currently working with Neighbor District. I told her my kids were disabled. I gave her my spiel of “I’ll do literally anything* if you show me how to do it, I just need to find something within school hours.” I told her working with Neighbor District and seeing how the kids were treated was destroying my soul. We discussed tattoos. She told me how it was a foot in the door to other jobs in the district. She told me to go home and think about it and email her if one of those positions interested me.
I went in to the interview just kind of like, well, let’s just get through it, but it was honestly such a welcome bright spot.
Also while waiting for the person who interviewed me to come down to the main office, the receptionist at one point answered the phone and it was clearly some coworker spilling some very good tea because her side of the conversation was, “Oh? OH REALLY. I’m looking it up RIGHT NOW.” Same, girl. Same.
Annnnnd then there’s the awful, also present, feeling of leaving my two kids at the job I can’t possibly do for long because the moral conflict is ever present and eventually going to reach some sort of crisis point. I don’t know what the adults think of me, and I don’t know that it’s any of my business. But I got Main Kid off the bus alone for the first time and when I greeted him his face lit up and it made my day. All the rote, forced, fake greetings from adults to this child, are you blind? He is a blazing light. He is so aware, so deserving of so much more than the nominal “inclusion” of sitting in the same room as a gen ed class for 20 minutes but not being given any meaningful way to engage in the lesson topic. JUST LET ME DO IT FFS. Let me 1:1 tutor him. We could do SO MUCH.
And my other little end of day guy, little twice exceptional pinball. That’s my own layperson’s diagnosis because like knows like. First person to ever ask me what my favorite airline was and thank you sir, I absolutely will be using that in future conversations.
“Why are you wearing that sweater with those color stripes?” Philosophical king. Why AM I. Why are any of us doing anything. What is the nature of free will.
Yes, kid, my brain rapidly dies of boredom trying to do that computer program too. I too would keep a dopamine-fueling tab open. I’m turning a blind eye to it, because this kid is a master at tab switching and I work the exact same way.
We tackled the world’s most boring, repetitive app today and I got him giggling the same way I did my son. I just started reading the nonsense jumble words and word searches (WRMA! APREXO!) because guess what, we’re not practicing letter sounds, we’re actively fighting off DYING FROM BOREDOM. Honestly I didn’t think I could crack this kid that easily, his brain is going like 100 mph but he thought I was funny. We powered through it.
IS has said that Main Kid has “never stayed in [related arts]” that long. Every day this week. “That’s the longest he’s stayed in [whatever.]” All I do is sit and exist with him. We exist together.
He also said in reference to figuring out some staffing issue that I would still go to Second Kid because “he’ll work with you and he doesn’t with everybody.”
I had fully assumed from their perspective I was failing with this dude, because I’m not a taskmaster and I’m here to help him actually learn against all odds, and the teacher still steps in a fair amount because I just judge him by the standards of which I would intervene with my kids, which is like, could there be harm? Like are you hurting yourself or others? No? Cool, you do you. Two can have a sales boat, my dude.
It’s just heartbreaking every which way.